Knowing when to disconnect, shut it off, unplug, or walk away from work is one of the essential keys to work/life balance for harried and overworked people. Remember that star performers, in general, report a greater work-life balance than their average-performing counterparts.

The work many of us do is extremely demanding of both our time and energy. In many cases, you may allow the intrusion and justify the cost on a personal level for real or anticipated gains on the career level. Yes, stars report that they occasionally put in many extra hours to get something important accomplished, but for them, that’s not the norm. Too often, many of us sacrifice family time, exercise, or much-needed personal time without making conscious choices about the implications and trade-offs.

Many of us feel stressed and overworked because we are over connected. As a result of the onslaught of information, along with the never-ending ways that people can access us anytime of the day or night, we feel perpetually connected to our work. Think about the number of technology resources you now use that were not commonplace just a few years ago. Cell phones, pagers, e-mail, instant messaging, online chats, voice mail, call forwarding, wireless Internet pagers…. the list just keeps growing. How much of these technology tools and the obsessive connection to our work is enough?!

Star performers have established important boundaries between their work and their personal lives. Stars also use the endless forms of technology to help them protect their work-life balance, not make it worse.

A new book, Dot Calm: The Search for Sanity in a Wired World, provides a wealth of “how to” tips for managing the work-life challenge:

The first step is: JUST SAY NO!—and draw clear boundaries. This takes on multiple forms:

• Turn off your cell phone when you shouldn’t be interrupted.
• Don’t take a cell phone to an appointment or when you are focusing on someone else.
• Don’t give out your cell phone number. Use it only for outgoing calls.
• Screen calls using caller ID.
• Block out time when you will not be interrupted. This helps you get into a state of “flow.”
• Hold certain times “sacred.” If you make a commitment for a social or family event, honor that commitment without interruptions.
• Mentor others, through coaching, to handle important work in your absence.
• Maintain your commitment to “work-free” vacations.
• Make sure you are clear with others about what you value and what is important to you.
• Let voice mail or the answering machine take your calls.
• On your voice mail greeting, be clear about when you will and will not be available. Update that message regularly.
• Exercise to burn off stress—and don’t talk on your cell phone or check voice mail while exercising!

Obviously, some intrusions of work into personal life are unavoidable, depending upon the nature of your work. If you are part of a global team, or have on-call responsibilities as part of your job, then some intrusions go with the territory. However, more often than not, we let work seep into our personal lives even when there’s not a bonafide emergency or time-urgent crisis. We’ve become so accustomed to the ever-presence of our work that we’ve unconsciously allowed further intrusions that have, in many cases, become unreasonable.

The research behind Dot Calm: The Search for Sanity in a Wired World involved hundreds of interviews and surveys to learn how star performers achieve balance and integrate overwork solutions into the lives. There are several key solutions that work for these people, some of whom work long hours, receive over 300 e-mails each day, travel extensively, and have families they treasure. Here are the solutions, along with some specific steps stars take for each.

1. PRIORITIZE AND ORGANIZE

• Focus only on work that is connected to the value path.
• Maintain a firm commitment to being organized and use systems that support that. Remember that stars’ self management systems include these elements that help them: schedule and optimize time; store and retrieve important information; plan an entire project; keep track of progress; recognize potential crises; provide back-up plans if problems arise; and communicate progress and results to important others.
• Ignore, or get other people to handle, those e-mails and voice mails that are not really important to your work.
• Excuse yourself from unproductive meetings, if possible.

2. TAKE DAILY “TIME-OUTS”

• Take a nap, a walk, or a mini-meditation break with a few minutes of silence.
• Maintain daily rituals, such as teatime, meditation, prayer, exercise.
• Leave the office—and leave your work there.
• Don’t get upset with yourself if you’ve ‘wasted’ a day –just accept it and move on.

3. TAKE MINI SABBATICALS

• Enjoy a weekend trip with family or friends.
• Schedule game night (or movie night or pizza night) with your family.
• Plan a work-free family weekend at least once each month.

4. NURTURE THE SOUL AND MIND

• Read a good book (unrelated to your work).
• Participate in a community service activity with your family.
• Go to a movie, the theater, the opera, or the museum.

5. NOURISH THE BODY

• Exercise regularly. Make, and commit to, specific days and times for exercise each week.
• Eat and sleep well.
• Get a massage.

Star performers have learned to simplify life, slow down and achieve a better work-life balance, all without committing career suicide. Further, stars recognize that the power to do this rests within them. Waiting for external motivators, such as your organization or your boss, will often result in a long wait! You must make the conscious choice and the commitment. To help with the process, check out these free self-awareness and action planning tools from ALLearnatives:
Dot Calm Exercises & Self-Assessments

Debra A. Dinnocenzo is a dynamic speaker, author, and trainer. She is president of ALLearnatives, a learning and development firm that specializes in alternative work arrangements that help people lead more productive and balanced lives, with emphasis areas including telework, virtual teams, and work-life balance. She is the author of 101 Tips for Telecommuters and co-author of Dot Calm: The Search for Sanity in a Wired World, which offers solutions for achieving work-life balance. ALLearnatives offers workshops, seminars, and the free e-newsletter, “WorkWisely.” Visit www.allearnatives.com to subscribe to “WorkWisely,“ schedule a presentation, or obtain additional resources.

You can contact Debra Dinnocenzo at ddinnocenzo@allearnatives.com

David Binder is a Principal Consultant with Avid Learner, Inc. You can reach David at dbinder@avidlearner.com